Grief: Tips on seeing the process through to the end.

My post a couple days ago about the grief I was experiencing obviously expressed that I felt as if the grief process I've been going through over the last couple of years will never end.  Good news, it does.  After fully processing and giving a creative outlet to my sadness, I feel I have successfully peeled another healing layer off the ME-onion.  I am learning, with the help of an experienced couselor, that whenever something is fully and successfully grieved, the after effects feel great; kind of like a rainbow after the rain. My counselor also helped me understand that I've gone through several grief process back to back over the last two years, making it feel like one looooong grief process. On the upside, I'm becoming a bit of a pro at learning how to successfully walk through grief! lol!

Here are a few skills I've learned to help myself process those feeling.  Hopefully it will serve as a reference for you to help you make it through hard things:

Write a letter to the person you are having feelings about (whether it be angry, sad, or lonely etc.) The letter need not be sent.  It is an outlet of expression for YOU. Remove your filters and judgements and express your feelings honestly. Feel free to discard the letter if and when you want to.

Use the "Empty chair" technique: Meaning, pretend the person you are having feelings about is sitting in a chair across from you silently listening and understaning you.  Talk to them out loud.  Fully express everything that comes out.  Try not to be frightened if you end up crying, screaming, or yelling.  Remember, you are giving these feelings an outlet of release so they will go away and leave you alone.  They will either stayed harboured and hidden inside, causing distructive behaviors in your daily life, or they can be given a healthy outlet, where you can acknowledge, express, release, and move on with your life with a feeling of peace. I always make sure my children are not at home before I allow myself to use the empty chair technique. The person to whom you are addressing your feeling may not be living anymore.  Your feelings about them, whether positive or negative, still need an expressive and appropriate outlet.

Choose a creative outlet of expression.  For me that is sometimes writing poetry, sometimes it's dance.  You don't have to be good at it, just do it.  I haven't danced for two decades.  I'm not skilled at it, but I love it.

Dance also falls under the category of physical exercise.  Maybe you like running, or lifting.  Choose what best compliments your own personality and nature.

Dancing My Way to Self Esteem

After my post on my low self esteem.  I fasted and prayed that God would help me feel better about myself. I have definitely felt it.  I have noticed a deeper connection between my spirit and body as I return to something I loved as a child: ballet.  I can't afford a formal class, so I've found some online ballet instructionals and have found it very emotionally healing.  I wonder if it's the actual act of doing something I did as a child: feeling a healing connection with my roots.

I have noticed during my healing journey I have returned to things I identified with as a child: blonde hair, a desire for connection with my sourthern roots, dance and ballet.  And I do believe it is one factor that has aided me on this long, long journey.

A journey I sincerely hope will continue to increasingly have more ups than downs.

Grieving the death of a friend

Grief

A never ending river

Flowing inside of me.

He is dead.

And my heart cries out for him.

For his frienship,

His companionship,

For the presence of his caring spirit.

The grief of his passing

Flows into the river

Of the tragedies

I was already grieving.

The grief flows

And feels as if,

Unlike his life,

It will never end.